Combi Lightweight Stroller

Hello all,

I'm quite upset with myself today...I don't know why.
Suddenly feel like a super lousy mother.
Recently, Jesse kinda refuse to suckle on my breast to sleep.
Its either he's uncomfortable or he wants to be carried or he wants to play orrrrrr he is not familiar with the place.
Had been having hard time to make him sleep on Sat & Sun over @ Keith's place.
On saturday, I took 2-3 hours to make him sleep!!
He was super tired.But yet he doesn't want to sleep.He will keep crying and crying.Only I can carry him..and when I carry him he makes noise too. Unexplainable night.
Don't know what was wrong...
Then yesterday night he was being carried to sleep by my MIL..he cried to sleep..while this toy(playing music) was on.
Feeling? Like shit.
Wonder why I can't make him sleep the way I used to do...
Hope tonight would be a smooth night.
Anw, got him a 2nd hand playpen n a Combi stroller...condition??Not very appealing-.-
But the pictures what was online appeared good...Never judge a book by its cover.
However, it would be used for times i'm out alone w/o keith cuz its a lightweight stroller..need to do some cleaning up on it..(sometimes I wished I had ALOT of $$ so I can afford everything, the best for him. But no, I'm a non-working mother. Still relying on my parents for $$) Sucks to feel this way :( Hope I can quickly get my bond and get a monthly allowance..
Oh ya.. on the way home juz now when we got into the cab in a rush, I was carrying Jesse n his leg was below my leg and I wanted to move in and sat+dragged his feet across the seat..he immediately cried so much..I felt. 100% like S.H.I.T.
Hate myself so much..
There's this one thing I cannot take is when a baby/infant/child(your flesh n blood)..gets hurt..physically..like say...accidentally fall down or smth and starts crying so badly..I can't take this kinda thing but I know my turn would come...even thou how much you keep an eye.The worse always happens..

Emo feeling.
Sux.
K.
Thx.
Bye...

MIA-ness is over!!

Hello all!

Jesse is now 4 months and 4 days old! :)
I'm going to unblock this private blog so that all my/jesse's stalkers can read about our life. Interesting hur?
Hahahah, its really amazing how many people will stare and give the O_O look when I'm out with him..

Questions like
1) Is he your son??
You look so young!!
2)How old are you??
3)He really your son???
4)Did your mother scold you?
5)Are you working?

and the questions goes on and on..hahah..But quite used to it..
Ok, will update again soon!

Off to school!
Ciao^^

Baby has been cranky yesterday & today.Taking so much outta me.Feel so drained..
Need to take things slowly...and enjoy every moment with him being a new born child..
Looking forward to days with Daddy Young's help...
Tomorrow he will be on off!Cuz we are going to do baby's Birth Cert.
Haven't been out w him for so long..seems so long cuz this 2weeks since baby was born things seems to pass quite slowly and idk..things just changed alot.

13days till my birthday,and till school starts.
Then i'll be on holiday from morning till abt 4ish? & when i'm back,taking care of baby will be my job from Monday-Thursday...
Trying to keep myself from having post natal depression...
So i'll be handling him from monday-thursday..then weekends will be with Keith.

13 more days...
Wed-w keith
Thurs-alone
Fri-w keith after 6pm
Sat-w keith
Sun-w keith
Monday-home
Tues-home
Wed-home
Thurs-home-
Fri-w keith after 6pm
Sat-w keith
Sun-w keith

so..ill be "alone" for abt 5-6 more days...b4 school starts for me..

♥Jesse Young Sheng ♥

Sup!!My cow cow job has 1/2 stopped for maybe 1 week till my nipples heal from those cracks and sore.All the bleeding.Woo!Super painful plz. T.T

Anw,if you guys are interested in the birth story of Baby Jesse.Here goes...
I didn't exactly follow the timing but its arnd there.So yeh.

40weeks 3days...24th September 2009
Around 10am I checked into KKH,for inducement.
Was sent to do CTG for 1/2 an hour and then to insert my 1st pill.
Around 1pm?I was done and asked to wait for my bed..went to eat with Keith @ Macs.
Then was called shortly after to go up to my ward.
Headed up..slack...no intense contractions what so ever.Watched TV...used comp..
Around 5 odd,my gynae came and see me.Checked my cervix.Not opened yet. -.-!!
She forced dno what in.& soon after she left..
Contractions came...super painful..but still kinda bearable.
So around 7pm..went down to walkwalk and keith had his dinner.
Contractions were so painful!!!!
Cannot take it..went up...bare with the pain till around 9plus.Keith went home.Cuz visiting hrs were over.& my mom came shortly after that!Didn't know she could come up..
I fell asleep after keith left and woke up when my mom came..The pain was so painful...
Around 10pm this midwife came and check on me.My mom told her I was in real pain..
She asked if I wanna go down to the labour ward.Where they will monitor me closely there.So decided to head down..and they said that I had another Prostin insertion at 10pm...but went down.Contractions were so regular and quite intense.So could not insert pill..

40weeks 4days. 25th September 2009
Fell asleep and woke up with irregular contractions.So inserted 2nd pill around 2am in the morning.Regular contractions came but not peaking.
Around 8plus am in the morning my gynae came to check on me.Only 1.5cm dilated!
She forced my cervix to open abit and burst my waterbag..put me on drip..
Contractions soon came super regular and very super painful!!!
Around 11am couldn't take it.Keith called my mom to come down and sign for my epidural cuz I was in super duper pain.
Mom came around 12noon and signed stuff..and I finally had my epidural!!HOORAYYYY!!
hahahaha..Was feeling song after that.Could take short naps etc.
Around 5plus gynae came again.Checked my cervix.Only 3cm dilated!!How can like that?
So she told my mom that if by 8pm there isn't any good progress,I would have to go for C-section.As baby would be in distress being inside for so long already.
@8pm....doctors on duty came in and checked my cervix.Still 8pm..
Was brought for C-section immediately..
@ 2043pm darling boy Jesse was born!! :)

Super painful process..about 34hrs of labor...Felt so relieved after that..
Now my nipples are all sore...gonna die soon T.T

Seeya!

25th September 2009 @ 2043

Hello all!My dear son is finally out.he is about...4 days old now.doing fine :) totally breastfeeding.
Labor process was however very painful and torturous but managed to pull through till the end,even after 30hours of being in pain...
He was born via emergency C-sec cuz I still couldn't dilate after 24hours+.
But all is good :)
Want to Thank all who came down to the hospital to visit.We appreciate your love.

Will be heading back to school in 2 weeks time...can't believe time passes so quickly now.& I'm also gonna be 18 soon!Going to register marriage also.heeheeee.
Wonder how my 18th Birthday would be spent?Jesse would be less than a month old then..hmm....wonder if we should bring him out to have dinner etc.hahahaaa..

Ok I really hope school is gonna be short and sweet this coming sem...it would help alot.I hope that most of the lessons would be in the morning so i can go home in the noon to take care of baby.That is about it.Seeya^^

Should I post my long birth story out?But its not exactly remembered in a very detailed manner...as in the exact time etc.

Okay,cya!

Tomorrow is, De-day!

Hello people.

Yes,i've still not given birth -.-!
I'm currently 40+3days today?
& i'll be heading down to KKH to induce tmrw morning!
So hopefully he would be out by night!

Anyway,my results are out!
I passed everything!Amen!Even though I didn't get at least a 3 for my GPA i'm cool w it..
knowing that certain modules I started to mug only the night before..
hmm...
next sem would be better I hope?
:)

Will be having lil Jesse's pix up soon when he's out!
Actually..still thinking where I should put his pix..cause I don't want some disgusting people to see him!You know,like some people are out there to kill me,moreover,him...I'm still too poor to hire him a body guard @ this age ya kno.HAHAHA!

Okay,bye!

Cause I've hearts all over the world (:

39+5 today.Can you imagine that?I never expected myself to hit full-full term 40weeks!
Guess i'm doing it!Hahaha, I've check up later & I hope to hear something like I'm 2cm dilated or 3? Having to go back during my 37/38 weeks & gynae telling me I'm 0cm dilated really somehow irritates me..Like...I've been having pains on and off so freaking often!Just not the real contractions!So friggin annoying ya kno!

Anw I thought my mom would be nice to take time off later to go for check up w me.Yes,she is.
But we are leaving here @ 315pm and my check up is @ 4pm and she needs to be back in school @ 515pm!!Damit!Seriously!!!I wanted to get a ride to Pasir Ris after the check up..save my trip there on the freaking bus!!

Ughz. >:@

Ok,hope you hear good news from me soon.
Till then,
xxx